3 Subtle Signs of Passive-Aggression You Might Be Missing, According to Expert Psychologist

Have you ever received the cold shoulder without knowing why? Ever been praised in a way that left you second-guessing whether it was really a compliment? Well, then, you may have already crossed paths with passive-aggressive behaviour. What is it? Passive-aggressive behaviour is defined as behaviour that is seemingly innocuous, accidental, or neutral but that indirectly displays an unconscious aggressive motive. In simple words, it's a way of expressing negative feelings, such as anger or annoyance, indirectly. Such behaviours are often difficult to identify and can sabotage relationships at home and at work. Wondering how to recognize passive-aggressive behaviour? Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist and bestselling author, has shared 3 signs that point towards passive-aggressive behaviour. Let’s take a look.

One of the hallmark signs of passive-aggressive behaviour is giving the other person a cold shoulder. The silent treatment is a red flag. “They have no intention of telling you what's wrong. Your punishment is being ignored, but if you bring it up, all can be denied,” Dr. Smith explains. She adds, “Of course, they're not ignoring you; maybe you're just paranoid.” This behaviour could lead to unresolved conflicts, which could only create confusion and self-doubt in the person on the receiving end.

Yes, the compliments that sound flattering on the surface, but appear to be insulting. No, that’s not just in your head. People with passive-aggressive behaviour, in fact, intend so! For example, if you have ever got a compliment that sounds like, “You look really nice in that outfit today, much better than usual.” The one that sounds like praise on the surface, but is loaded with insult!

One of the crucial signs of passive-aggressive behaviour is a tendency to hold back on the praise. Such people can’t really appreciate the good in others. “So even when you do something well, jealousy and resentment make it too painful to acknowledge it or give encouragement. So instead they pretend it's not happening,” the psychologist adds.

• Sarcasm

• Sulking, becoming cold or indifferent

• Subtly excluding you from the group

• Engaging in gossip about someone

• Agreeing to something while making it clear that it is a hassle for them

• Subtle but persistent comments in an otherwise friendly interaction that leave you doubting how they really feel about you.

This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. If you are concerned about your own behavior or that of someone else, it is recommended to seek guidance from a licensed mental health professional.